No family should face a crisis alone.
A quiet way to surround a family with support.
Frankie's Fortress exists so that no family has to face a mental health or substance use crisis alone, or grieve in silence. Too often, the fear of stigma and feelings of shame keep families from asking for help.
Here, the people who love them can gather around them with meals, rides, help with childcare and quiet kindness, so they feel surrounded, protected and cared for, without anyone needing to explain.
How it works
Build a Fortress
The family, or a friend on their behalf, creates a private page and chooses the kinds of help they'd welcome.
Share it quietly
Send the private link only to people you trust. It never appears in searches or public lists.
Friends show up
Helpers sign up for meals, rides, errands or a simple check-in text. Nobody asks for details.
Privacy comes first
- No explanation needed. There's no place to describe a diagnosis or what happened, ever.
- Private link, with an optional passcode.
- The address is shared only with someone who signs up to drop something off.
- No-contact help: leave it at the door, no need to answer or reply.
- Helpers can stay private too, if the family prefers.
For hard seasons, and for grief
A Fortress can support a family during an active crisis, or after they've lost someone they love to suicide, overdose or illness. Grief after these losses is often lonely. Steady, quiet support helps more than people know.
Learn what actually helps, from families who've been there.
- Reach out first, and keep reaching out
- Saying something is better than saying nothing
- Listen more than you advise
Hola, friend. You are not alone.
Hoodies featuring original paintings. Proceeds support suicide prevention.
Why this place exists, and the young man it's named for.
Start a Fortress
This takes about five minutes. You can change anything later.
If you're a friend, please make sure the family is comfortable with this before you share it.
Only the general kind of support. Never what happened.
Choose gentle wording, or write your own. Keep it short. No details are needed.
Add the things people can sign up for. Be as specific as you like. Private details, like a school name or address, are only shown to the person who signs up.
The family's address is only shown to someone after they sign up to drop something off.
Please don't ask what happened. Just show up, gently and steadily. If you're not sure what to say, you're not alone. Families who've been through this share what helped them.
Photo: Sies Kranen on Unsplash
Kind words and photos
Share a note, a photo, or both. The family reads these when they can. Please don't ask questions, and don't expect a reply.
A candle you lit, flowers, a sunrise, a place that made you think of them. Please share only photos you're happy for the family to keep.
How to support a family without making it harder
Families facing mental illness, addiction or a loss like suicide or overdose often carry shame that isn't theirs to carry. The kindest help is steady, practical and asks for nothing back.
- Offer something specific: "I'm bringing dinner Tuesday."
- Keep showing up for months, not just the first weeks.
- Send messages that need no reply.
- Remember hard dates, like birthdays and anniversaries.
- After a loss, say their loved one's name, if the family does.
- Keep what you know private.
- Ask what happened, or for any details.
- Give advice, opinions or stories about other people.
- Say "everything happens for a reason" or "at least…"
- Share their situation with others.
- Take silence personally. They may not have words yet.
Words that lift the shame
What helped, and what didn't, in the words of families who've been there. Read more ›
What helped us
Most people want to help a family in crisis but don't know what to say. Here's what families who've been through it, and the researchers who listened to them, say actually helps.
What families tell researchers
A summary of published studies of families after a suicide or overdose loss, and of families caring for someone with mental illness or addiction.
In their own words
This space is waiting for the first stories.
If your family has been through a mental health or substance use crisis, or the loss of someone you love, your words could help another family feel less alone, and help their friends know what to say.
Help is here, any hour
Free and confidential. These are United States services.
Hola, friend. You are not alone.
A hoodie that says what so many people need to hear. Every one sold helps fund suicide prevention.
About the art
A note about the artist will go here, shared in his own words or with his blessing.
Where the money goes
The charity or foundation receiving the proceeds will be named here.
Heather gray hoodie · small crest on the front · full painting on the back. Printed and shipped by Custom Ink.
In honor of Frankie
Frankie's dedication is being written by those who love him, and will appear here with his family's blessing.
Frankie's Fortress exists so that no family has to face a mental health or substance use crisis alone, or grieve in silence. It is a place to be surrounded, protected and cared for by the people who love you.